Well, that was…awkward.

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    COME ON DOWN!

    3 Dec 2011 •

    Once upon a time there was a car named Goldie. Here, Goldie is obviously not

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  • healthiest

    I call shenanigans.

    4 Aug 2011 •
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  • pigs

    There’s a fine line between kitschy and creepy.

    4 Aug 2011 •

    These cross that line. I’m uncertain what use these stacked angry yellow pigs may have,

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    Can we just be friends?

    2 Aug 2011 •

    Talking about dating life and discussing flat out rejection are two totally separate things, but

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  • bumper

    Sometimes you’re not helping anyone.

    1 Aug 2011 •

    I hate it when bumper stickers have a point, even worse when they are appropriately

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  • bloodymary

    Not all Bloody Mary’s are built the same.

    28 Jul 2011 •

    “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” The term is actually two words

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  • Janky leg

    Beware the scorned janky leg.

    26 Jul 2011 •

    I have a new business idea. To tell you about it I have to give

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    The death of the newspaper.

    26 Jul 2011 •

    I used to really enjoy reading the paper. Hell, I went to one of the

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  • awkward

    You can’t make this up.

    23 Jul 2011 •

    There’s a few points in any dating relationship that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s the

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  • breakfast

    An ode to Joe.

    22 Jul 2011 •

    ODE: –noun 1. a lyric poem typically of elaborate or irregular metrical form and expressive

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  • Fanciest Taco Bell EVER.

    Fanciest Taco Bell EVER.

    22 Jul 2011 •
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  • card2 copy

    Speed dating, surprisingly legit.

    21 Jul 2011 •

    I thought speed dating would be interesting, so when a friend came to me with

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  • ocdchef

    Obsessed with a capital WTF

    20 Jul 2011 •

    I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little OCD. And anyone who has studied

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    Park the hover round, Mary, let’s get donuts.

    19 Jul 2011 •
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  • Bingo Ball Background

    I haven’t found a frequency where her voice isn’t annoying.

    19 Jul 2011 •

    Once a week I get the opportunity to be amplified to a degree that people

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    My new plant. Scariest plant EVER.

    17 Jul 2011 •

    As anyone who understands my anxiety about potted plants could tell you, this is a

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  • Awful parking job.

    Everyone hates you.

    17 Jul 2011 •

    Dear That Guy, EVERYONE hates you. Thanks, Your Neighbors P.S. Sorry about the oyster sauce,

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